We took the girls skiing while in Switzerland. These pictures represent the best of the experience!
We don't have any visual proof of the challenges of skiing with a 3 and 6 year old in the mountains. What I can say is that teaching the girls to ski in the Swiss Alps seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean seriously, who learns to ski in the best mountains in the world? Are you kidding?
Let me paint a short picture of how it went down:
Step 1:
Rent ski gear. That would be: 8 skis, 3 helmets, 4 poles, 8 boots, 2 pair of goggles.
In Switzerland, this will cost an arm and a leg, so you may be able to get by with 7 skis, and 3 poles.
Drive to ski hill. Park 300 yards from the lift.
Step 2:
Put on your helmet, jacket, pants, gloves, and anything else you don't want to carry. Repeat for two small children. This step will take 40-50 minutes.
Step 3:
Incapacitate yourself by strapping on your ski boots, and do the same for both small children.
Step 4:
Eat some snow off the top of the car to avoid passing out from being too hot. Tell the kids to toughen up and remind them they will be freezing cold in about 5 minutes.
Step 5:
Carry all items from step 1 30 yards to the ski lift.
Step 6:
Walk back 10 yards to pick up all the items you dropped.
Steps 7-16:
Repeat steps 5 and 6 until you want to go home.
Step 17:
Stop and rest. Rejoice that you made it to the base of the ski hill.
Step 18:
Ask the girls if they need to go to the bathroom. Tell them that they are wrong and they need to go anyways.
Step 19:
While the girls are stomping to the loo, stand in the queue to buy lift tickets. At the front of the line, mutter some broken French and ask them if they speak English. After a dirty look back, they will reply "of course", as if to imply that you don't speak English yourself.
Step 20:
Purchase lift tickets. This will cost your other arm and leg, which will guarantee to make the next few hours even more interesting.
Step 21:
Collect all your skis, poles, helmets, small children, and slowly waddle to the ski lift. This will be similar to steps 7-16, but increasingly frustrating as people swear at you in French for blocking the entire walkway.
Step 22:
Ride the gondola up the mountain. Relax, as this may be the best part of your day.
Step 23:
Carry all your crap, and drag your crabby children off the gondola, and tell them this is going to be the best experience ever.
Step 24:
After 20 minutes of crying, struggling, and everyone in the family screaming that they want to go home, your skis will now be on. You will probably have lost several items by this point. It is also likely that your children will now need to pee.
Step 25:
Proceed to ski down the steepest slope on the mountain to the private ski lesson area with said small children between your legs. Expect your ears to be bleeding from the ear piercing wails of frightened children. This won't be nearly as painful as your quads, which will be cramped and burning until you would rather die. This feeling will be amplified by the frustration you feel from 100's of competent toddlers whizzing by at warp speed.
Step 26:
Leave your screaming and crying children with the ski instructor while you take a break from the hell you experienced getting up the ski hill. During this break, be certain to reflect on how simple life used to be when it was just two of you skiing in California.
Step 27:
Smile and enjoy the best memories of your life.
